There’s a strange quiet that arrives when actual treatment ends. The machines are no longer beeping, the appointments slow down, the adrenaline that carried you through the worst of it disappears, and suddenly you are left with yourself. People will congratulate you. Your body will feel like it’s collapsing. Both can be true.
Rehab
WHAT TO EXPECT
- It’s unlikely that you will bounce back to normal immediately. It’s taken me a few months to regain my energy and mental clarity.
- Fatigue and brain fog can persist for months
- Your body may feel unfamiliar or unreliable
WHAT HELPED ME
- Physical therapy can support if you were in a wheelchair, if you lost muscle from treatment, if you have neuropathy, or if your gait feels unstable.
- Acupuncture
- Gentle, consistent movement
- Recognizing that it’s not about returning to who I was, but learning to live with the body I have now.
Grief
WHAT TO EXPECT
Grief arrived for me after treatment was done and when the adrenaline wore off.
- I found myself grieving the person I was before cancer, the life I thought I was living, my sense of bodily safety, my fertility and future family plans, the ease I once had with health, all of the plans I had missed over the last few months.
- It was startling to be “done” but not feel better. I felt grief for my past self and the future that suddenly felt uncertain.
WHAT HELPED ME
- Naming the losses out loud, journaling without trying to resolve anything, talking about it with friends and family, letting grief exist without forcing gratitude, not trying to fix it, but letting it flow through me
Sexual Health
WHAT TO EXPECT
- I found I had a changed relationship to my body immediately after treatment. I had, and continue to have, a lot of fear around intimacy and vulnerability and pain and discomfort.
- If your treatment puts you at risk for early menopause, these changes can come quickly and feel disorienting.
- Dilator therapy is necessary and painful at first
- Pelvic tissues may feel tight, fragile, or unfamiliar
WHAT HELPED ME
- Ask your oncologist if your treatment puts you at risk for early menopause. If so, depending on your cancer, they may be able to support you with hormone replacement therapy.
- Treating dilator use as a ritual, not a chore. Play music, breathe slowly, no rushing.
- Letting go of any timeline for “getting back to normal.”
Therapy
WHAT TO EXPECT
Cancer leaves psychological imprints long after the body stabilizes. Many survivors experience PTSD, often without realizing that’s what it is.
- I had strong reactions to hospitals, blood, needles, and medical smells, anxiety before scans or appointments, sudden emotional flooding or numbness, hypervigilance around bodily sensations, and difficulty trusting my body again.
- Blood and hospital ceilings were particularly triggering for me
WHAT HELPED ME
- EMDR was transformative for me in processing medical trauma
- Working with a therapist experienced in cancer specifically
- Naming triggers instead of avoiding them
- Sharing my experience - it was unbelievably therapeutic for me to write a book during this period about my entire journey; it helped me let everything go and move past it.
- Accepting that my recovery included psychological rehabilitation, not just physical
Scanxiety & Follow-Up Care
WHAT TO EXPECT
- I found myself having anxiety that spikes days or weeks before scans. I don’t know if this ever gets easier.
WHAT HELPED ME
- The mantra, “This problem existed before, now we will get information, and we can address it.” Knowledge is power. Knowing early is power.
- Control the controllables
- There are some blood tests that you can pay for outside of insurance for faster results when possible.
- Having a post scan plan - I feel a lot calmer going into scans when I am very clear about what the various outcomes could entail.
- Ask your oncologist about what they’re expecting to see and the next decision points. It helped me to think about my various next steps and focus on parallel planning.