This is a practical reference page, distilled from my essays into plain language so it's easy to find and use. For the writing itself, start here.
Neither you nor your doctors know exactly how your body will handle treatment, so the useful move is to prepare for a hard version and be pleasantly surprised. I went through two rounds of chemotherapy. The first put me in the ER almost weekly; during the second I barely went. This page is the setup that made the difference: what to decide before your first infusion, what to change at home, and what to keep by the door.
Decisions to make before your first infusion
The port
If the option is given to you, I would recommend it. I didn’t get one in my first round, and knowing what I know now, I wish I had. I needed a lot of blood transfusions and extra hydration, and every single time meant a new IV stick. By the end of treatment my veins were scarred and hard to access. A port is a small device, about the size of a quarter, placed under the skin below your collarbone in a minor outpatient procedure. Once it heals you barely notice it. It carries some risk of infection or clots, so discuss it with your team.
Ice booties and gloves
Not every chemotherapy causes neuropathy. Check with your oncologist whether yours does. For mine, I wore booties and gloves filled with ice packs during the relevant treatments to protect the nerves in my hands and feet.
Hair: cold cap or not
For the regimens that cause hair loss, it usually starts two to four weeks after the first treatment. I chose not to use a cold cap: it added significant time to every session, and there was still less than a 50% chance of keeping more than half my hair. I preferred to be completely bald rather than patchy. I cut my hair short before treatment started, which made the transition less jarring, and about four weeks in I shaved my head. I found it liberating. If you want a wig, get fitted before the hair goes, ask for human hair over acrylic, and get a brow pen that matches your hair color. Your hair falls out in stages, so you have time to practice.
Fertility
If you want the future option of biological children, raise it immediately. Doctors will recommend egg retrieval as soon as possible so it doesn’t delay treatment. It wasn’t an option for me, but two places we found along the way: CCRM Fertility and Chick Mission, which helps cover the cost.
Set up your home for healing
I liked having different spaces around my home so it felt like I was moving around, even when I didn’t have the energy to move far.
- Bed: soft sheets (your skin may get very sensitive), a noise machine, a loose eye mask, a weighted blanket for anxiety, and a heating pad for the cold spells that come with anemia.
- Bathroom: unscented lotions (scent sensitivity is real), Aquaphor for radiation burns, a soft toothbrush, dry-mouth mouthwash to stay ahead of mouth sores, and put the razor away, since some chemotherapies make you bleed more easily.
- A place to watch TV: I thought I could get through cancer just by reading, and that was a colossal mistake. Queue a mix of shows you don’t need to follow and ones that are fully immersive, for different energy levels.
- A projects corner: painting supplies, a journal, a book you can read one partial chapter of whenever energy shows up.
Get your uniform
I lived in sweatpant sets and rotated through colors. It was a relief not to think about what to wear, and everything washed easily. Two practical notes: avoid metal anywhere on the clothing so you can walk straight into radiation appointments, and think about access, sleeves that roll up easily for IVs, or a low-cut tank with a cardigan if you have a port.
Logistics that save you later
- Transportation: a plan for every appointment, ideally with your advocate or a friend, arranged in advance.
- Food: a meal train or grocery service, and a stock of bone broth and other comforting, nutritious things.
- Medication: you’ll be given several medicines for side effects. Pillboxes help, and keep the instructions somewhere shared, I used my phone’s Notes app, but a Google Doc your advocate can see works well.
- The ER go-bag: pack it now and keep it by the door: noise-cancelling headphones, something to entertain yourself, ginger nausea chews, snacks and protein bars, fuzzy socks, a blanket, an eye mask, toothbrush and toothpaste. ER visits are long even when they end fine.
Protect your head
Do whatever you need to do to mentally put yourself in a bubble. The treatments are brutal, but you are fighting the same war as the chemoradiation. For me that meant ambient music (Nils Frahm, Brian Eno, Hiroshi Yoshimura), box breathing, and meditation apps: Joe Dispenza’s recordings, Expand by Monroe for health-specific meditations, and Calm for bedtime stories and emergencies.
And one more, which sounds silly until you need it: do a photoshoot before treatment starts. I did two. When I was at my worst, it helped to know my past self was documented. When I lost my hair, I did another one, to remind myself I could be beautiful in any situation.
Common questions
Should I get a port before chemotherapy?
If your team offers one, strongly consider it. I didn’t get one for my first round and I wish I had. I needed frequent blood transfusions and hydration, each one a new IV stick, and by the end my veins were so scarred that nurses sometimes needed three or four attempts. A port is a quarter-sized device placed under the skin near your collarbone in a minor outpatient procedure. Once it heals you barely notice it, and you can shower and swim normally. It does carry some risk of infection or clots, so talk it through with your oncologist.
Do ice booties and gloves prevent neuropathy?
They helped me. Not every chemotherapy causes neuropathy, so first ask your oncologist whether yours does. For the regimens that do, wearing booties and gloves filled with ice packs during the infusion is a common way to reduce nerve damage in hands and feet. They’re inexpensive and available online.
What should I pack for chemo and ER visits?
Keep a go-bag ready: noise-cancelling headphones, something to watch or read, ginger nausea chews, snacks and protein bars, fuzzy socks, a blanket, an eye mask, and overnight basics like a toothbrush. Wear comfortable clothes with easy arm access, and nothing with metal if you also have radiation appointments.
When does hair loss start after chemo?
For the chemotherapies that cause hair loss, it typically begins two to four weeks after the first treatment, and it happens in stages rather than all at once. Ask your oncologist what to expect from your specific regimen. Cutting your hair short before treatment makes the transition less jarring, and if you want a wig, get fitted before you lose your hair so it can be matched to your natural color.
What should I buy before starting chemo?
The things I used most: soft sheets (skin gets sensitive), a weighted blanket, a heating pad, an eye mask, unscented lotions, Aquaphor if you’re having radiation, a soft toothbrush, dry-mouth mouthwash, pillboxes for the medication schedule, comfortable sweatpant sets, and ice booties and gloves if your regimen causes neuropathy.
Go deeper
- Expecting the Unexpected: my complete cancer guide, where all of this comes from, in full detail. Free PDF here.
- When It All Falls Out: the essay I wrote about losing my hair.
- Just Diagnosed: What to Do First: if you haven’t built your care team yet, start there.
This page is lived experience, not medical advice. I'm a survivor, not a doctor. For medical decisions, lean on your care team.